Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Obama-Eats-Dog Jokes Just Will Not Die: 34 More Gems from David Burge

Obama-Eats-Dog Jokes Just Will Not Die: 34 More Gems from David Burge

1    Under a spreading chestnut tree / The village smithy stands; / The smith, a mighty man is he, / But Obama ate his f--king dog.

2    O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done; Obama ate a freaking dog.

3    I met a traveller from an antique land / Who said, "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / Stand in the desert. Obama ate a f--king dog."

4    Half a league half a league, half a league onward / Into the valley of death road the 600 / Then Obama ate a f--king dog

5    No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; I can't believe Obama at a f--king     dog.

6    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood / And sorry I could not travel both / And be one traveler, long I stood / Obama ate a f--king dog.

7    Bitch, please. #ObamaRestaurantOrders

8    Age 10: Eats dog. Age 33: brags about eating dog in autobiography. Age 44: wins Grammy for audio of self bragging about eating dog.

9    Can we safely say "Age 10 Eats FIRST dog." Who knows when was the LAST time. I haven't seen Bo in a few weeks.

10    Re-Elect the President, Or He'll Eat This Dog #Obama2012

11    Call me Ishmael. Holy F****** S***!!!! Obama ate a F****** DOG!!!! (By Steve Graff)

12    "(Excerpt from Dreams From My Father - By Barack Obama) ""In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I'v been turning over in my mind ever since. ""DON'T EAT DOGS."""

13    Call me Ishmael. Captain Obama was obsessed with eating a f--king dog. #TheGreatAmerican140CharacterNovel

14    It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, Obama ate a f--king dog #TheGreatAmerican140CharacterNovel

15    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I can't believe Obama ate a f--cking dog. #TheGreatAmerican140CharacterNovel


16    Forget the cookie bakery, what about that poor cook who slaved over a hot wok only to have Obama call his dog "tough"? #cookiegate

17    Obama's book said he began eating dogs when he was a kid. It never said he stopped. #DogfoodForThough #cookiegate

18    Breaking: consumption of dog linked to ineptitude, uncontrollable spending #sciencenews #cookiegate

19    #cookiegate Romney: ate a chocolate chip. Obama: ran up $5 trillion in debt, after eating a f--king dog.

20    #cookiegate You realize that until Romney mentions eating children, the #ObamaEatsDog thing is not going away.

21    #cookiegate: Romney teased a woman about buying store-made cookies; Obama ate a f--cking dog

22    #cookiegate -- Romney spots a cookie; Obama cooks a Spot

23    #cookiegate Romney: ate cookie. Obama: ate "Cookie."

24    @Late_Night @DailyShow @ColbertReport I thought a president actually eating dog was good comedy material, but hey, you're the pros.

25    If you can't come up with 100 instant jokes about the President of the US eating a dog, you have no business calling yourself a comedian.

26    #ProTips don't want to talk about your dog-eating? Don't bring it up in your autobiography.

27    Any late night comedian who doesn't have at least 5 minutes of Obama-eats-dog material ready is guilty of dereliction of duty.

28    #ObamaDogRecipes tip: to tenderize a good steak, let age a week - or 1 day in human time.

29    Don't forget to spay, neuter and marinate. #ObamaDogRecipes

30    #ObamaDogRecipes I'm pretty sure I have another month of these.

31    At least I don't eat dog. - The Guy Married to Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

32    If you want a friend in Washington, don't eat him.

33    #ObamaDogRecipes I start feeling guilty about adding to this hashtag, but then I think, "hey, at least I don't eat dog."

34    #ObamaDogRecipes "That's right Bo, we're going to the 'park'!"

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